AkuSai - Disappear
by Rae'vyn Phiar
Summary: Saix refuses to get out the shower, misses class, and the Axel returns to their dorm seeing the other in a tensed-up, freaked-out but numb state. Then he figures out why all of this is going on. Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Rated M for MASSIVE MENTAL STUFF AND MASSIVE GORE AND BITING!
1. Chapter 1

_So, I wanted to cover the subject of Sa_ _ї_ _x possibly having bipolar disorder. It's a touchy subject, but it does run in my family. My father actually has it and has relapsed several times into hysterical mania where he believes demons are after him. So, I understand vaguely, since it has been quite a while and they finally found the right meds he needs, how to treat someone. This is only my interpretation of the disorder in how Sa_ _ї_ _x has it, so take what I've written with a grain of salt._

 _Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Please tell your friends about my content if you liked it, it may help me to find new ideas for prompts if they suggest anything! Also, please review! Anything, and I mean_ _ **anything**_ _, helps me out! And please ask for whatever you want here; I won't judge! Thanks again!_

 _Rated M for MASSIVE MENTAL STUFF AND MASSIVE BLOOD AND GORE. I don't own Sa_ _ї_ _x or Axel or Kingdom Hearts._

 **AkuSai – Disappear**

"Saїx, get out and talk to me." The shower didn't turn off, Axel outside of the bathroom in the elder's small apartment, the drawstrings of his paint-stained hoodie brushing against the handle of the door. "You're going to miss class."

"I don't care…" was the response, which worried the redhead. The blunette was usually the punctual one… "I just want to be alone…" He sighed and leaned against the door, sliding down its face and sitting. "Go without me."

"I'll fall asleep without you poking my shoulder every few minutes though. You know that Dr. Blum's lectures are naps waiting to happen…" Why was he so adamant on staying here? Was he sick? Hurt? "You're sure you're fine?" He touched the wood of the door, his worry growing more and more. What was going on…?

"Yes…" He sighed and then stood, grabbing his bag. "I'll be okay… Just not feeling good is all." Yeah, and taking a shower will help, right…? "I think I got what everyone else is getting. That bad cold and stuff…" Alright…

He thought for a moment and then nodded. "Fine. But when I get back you'd better be out…" He opened the dorm door and locked it again. Dorming with his boyfriend was a little troublesome, but nothing horrendous yet. He trotted down the stairs and met up with another student, the eyepatch fastened about his eye a giveaway. "Where're you headed, Xiggy?"

"Philosophy…" The disgust on his face was almost tangible, Axel only laughing. "Shut up… I hate that it's required…" The redhead shrugged and couldn't help but agree. He hated history courses, preferring his art courses a million times over than the sack of bones that was his professor. Even his name was boring… Dr. Blum… "How's Saїx?" His mind was snapped back to attention.

"He's being weird… He didn't want to come to class today and claimed he was sick." Xigbar nodded. "Like, I understand that there's that weird cold thing that lasts a week going around like the plague, but he's never gotten sick before for as long as I've known him. If anyone should be sick, it would be me."

"That's just 'cause you spend half your time in spraying booths and the other half holed up in dusty lecture halls. You never go outside…" Axel rolled his eyes and broke off from the main path to his lecture, which he fell asleep in after six minutes of the man's monotone, droning voice. He was prodded awake by the blonde in front of him and then he hurried back to the dorm.

Saїx was up, sitting on the floor. Water had soaked through the shirt and jeans he'd put on, seemingly as if he'd just walked out of the shower and put them on. His hair was still dripping, his eyes a bit downcast, arms crossed in front of his black-shirted chest. His entire body was tensed up, as if he was frightened and not wanting to move.

"Saїx… You alright?" The normally eloquent man grunted his response. Not good… Axel shut the door, deadbolting it for good measure, and then knelt next to him, not touching him yet. "Tell me what's wrong. Now." His topaz eyes flicked up at him, somehow devoid of any emotion, and he peeled his arms away from his chest. The redhead gasped.

Angry red marks lined each of his inner forearms, raw and bleeding. Some even hinted with white sinew and… even bone… They were bites, the other was sure of it. Bitten over and over again until they were that deep… "Oh my God…" How could he even bare to bite to the bone? How is it that he could even use his hand to clench it in a fist…?

"Stop gaping… You know this is how I've coped for years…" His voice was soft, emotionless. Axel nodded and gazed at the patches of skin that wasn't ragged, where the puckered scars of past bites over the years still shone. "I haven't done it in years… You all thought I was better…" Saїx' lips hinted at a smile as his eyes closed, leaning his head back. "You were all wrong…"

"What do you want me to do…?" He knew it was best not to force him to go to a hospital or force him to do anything at his point; you never knew when he could snap… "Can I at least wrap your arms?" He needed a hospital, but not now… Not in this state… The blunette nodded vaguely and the redhead rushed to grab his medical kit, spreading a thin layer of antiseptic gel over the bandages before wrapping them tight. "Why…?"

"It dulls the pain inside… Brings it to the surface…" Axel knew that, his hands subconsciously going to his own wrists where neat little scars from his own past lay. "This time… You know that the doctors took me off my meds?" He nodded. "Well… I need them to be normal… To be even numb to the pain and the fire and the demons…" The elder's teeth clenched and his chest rose a bit as he sucked in a breath, the redhead holding down his arms so he didn't dare bring them back up to his mouth. "I'm manic all the time now… It's difficult to hold it in, so doing this to myself… made it easier to cope with…"

"Your bipolar disorder is worse… We can deal with that. You just need your meds back…" Axel moved to sit across from the elder. "Hey… Look at me…" His eyes reluctantly opened. "We're going to get through this… These episodes of mania are going to go away… Your demons are going to go away… They'll disappear, and you'll be okay… I promise…" Saїx seemed to grow calmer and calmer as he repeated those same types of phrases, and he wriggled his arms free from the redhead's soft grip to wrap them loosely around the other's waist, holding him closer. "You'll be okay…"

"Okay…" was his response, and he closed his eyes again, this time relaxed entirely. Axel exhaled and relaxed too, closing his eyes and breathing normally in what felt like an eternity. He was going to be okay…


	2. Chapter 2

_So my dear people~ I decided to extend this story into probably four or five chapters. I'm not sure if I will be able to follow through on all of it, but I will try! In this installment Sa_ _ї_ _x leaves for Thanksgiving break and Axel worries about him taking his meds. He comes back and seems normal, but isn't all that normal in truth._

 _Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Please tell your friends about my content if you liked it, it may help me to find new ideas for prompts if they suggest anything! Also, please review! Anything, and I mean_ _ **anything**_ _, helps me out! And please ask for whatever you want here; I won't judge! Thanks again!_

 _Rated M for MENTAL STUFF AND MEDICAL STUFF TOO! I don't own Axel, Sa_ _ї_ _x, Roxas, Demyx, or Kingdom Hearts!_

 **AkuSai – Disappear – Chapter Two**

The first thing every morning now that Saїx was supposed to do, most of the time under Axel's watchful eye, was to take two small round white pills. He was back on his meds, and after two weeks he was mostly numbed to the mania of his disorder, and generally better. Going to class again, socializing in the little ways he'd done before… He even cracked the rare warm smiles at the redhead when they were alone in their dorm. His wounds healed very quickly under Axel's treatment, and no matter the reluctance the elder man put up to him.

"Alright, here's your pills." Axel shook the bottle and then packed in into the side of Saїx' bag. "I called your mom so she'll make sure you take them." The blunette looked around the doorframe, his toothbrush handle hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "What?"

"I don't need to be watched…" His voice was annoyed. "I can be responsible…" The redhead put a hand on his hip and shifted his weight onto his other leg. "What? I don't want to relapse, so I can remember to take them. My mom knows how bad it is, being my mother and all, and I don't want to upset her…"

Axel sighed and shoved the bag over to his side of the dorm. "I know you don't want to relapse, but… I guess I just worry too much about you… You're going to be holed up in your bedroom alone most of the time during Thanksgiving break, and even though it's only five days you'll be away… I just don't want to see you get really bad like before, y'know…?"

"Axel. Stop worrying. You're like a parent. I'll be okay. If anything, call me to take my meds." The emerald-eyed man nodded and then flopped onto the futon underneath his loft bed, closing his eyes and relaxing. The other man finished with brushing his teeth and then walked over, looking comfortable in a black tee and blue printed boxers. He sat down next to the younger and drew him into his side with an arm around his shoulders. "I want to stay this time, but my mom's been nagging at me to come for Thanksgiving so…"

"I know…" Tomorrow his anxiety was going to spike, and no amount of medication, not that he took any himself, was going to quiet the constant questions of 'Is he taking his meds? Has he hurt himself? Did he go manic?'. "You should sleep. It's already nine and your mom is coming at six." The elder nodded and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before slipping away and into his loft bed across from him.

Axel found himself asleep in moments and awake in what felt like a second. He looked at the loft, looking for Saїx, but only found the sheets mussed. He looked to the floor and his bag was gone. He looked at the clock and saw seven forty-two as the time. He was gone… Now it was only a matter of biding his time.

The first and second day were fine, most of the days spent online gaming with a few of his younger friends like Roxas and Demyx, and checking in with Saїx in the mornings. The third day was the day that the blunette was going to his grandmother's house to eat Thanksgiving dinner, so Axel let him off the hook for his morning text. The fourth and fifth day, however… He didn't receive a text back from him, and when he tried to call he only got his voicemail. But when he called Saїx' mom, she claimed that he had taken his meds and was okay. That let him relax just a bit more, but not by much.

As soon as he heard the sound of a key in the lock of the door, the redhead ran over, bounding from his desk chair and over the old trunk that served as both storage and a low table, and opened it, bringing the elder with him, and was pleased to see that he was looking normal; a little blank but a slight mischievous look in his eye. "Thank God…"

"Didn't think I'd make it?" He smiled a bit and then dropped his bag in the doorway to hug him for a moment. "I said I could be responsible." Axel nodded and let him in, his worry and anxiety about the whole affair melting away. "And I have leftovers from my grandmother's." His stomach growled in anticipation of the cooking, and they ate like kings on the reminders of the massive amount of food she had cooked for the elder's army of an extended family.

The redhead had easily fallen asleep in the topaz-eyed man's arms as soon as the halfway point of Deadpool passed, having seen the movie so many times that he could quote every word. But it wasn't very long that he slept as he felt the other tense up. "Axel… Axel… Wake up…" His voice was strained, and the other finally woke when the other bolted off the futon and began hurriedly stuffing clothes into his bag. "Axel we have to go. Now!"

Dammit… "No we don't…" He'd lied… "You didn't take your meds that entire time… did you…?" He'd been sick… "Saїx…" He wasn't healthy… "Saїx, answer me…" he growled, angry and hurt that the other had broken his trust. Axel stood and tore the bag out of his grip, shoving him against the door to make him stop. "Why did you go off your meds?"

His mouth opened and closed twice before he spoke. "They made me too numb… I wanted to feel… I wasn't okay with being numb to it all…" Axel's eyes widened and he grabbed his arm, shoving up his sleeve and expecting red marks. Nothing but scars… He checked the other arm and then sighed, letting him go. "I didn't hurt anyone… I didn't hurt myself…" He then looked at his knuckles, seeing that skin was peeled off, leaving them pink and a bit raw. "I punched a wall and then tried to leave out the window…"

"That's not an excuse…" he growled, pacing now to try to get rid of his anger. "You don't get to dictate when you take your medication… You don't get to self-diagnose this… You need to…" He turned around and faced him. "You need to be stable…"

"I… I know…" Saїx sighed and leaned in, putting his head in his hands. "I know that… I need to be stable or I hurt people… I hurt myself… but I just can't control it when I get manic… Please try to understand what's going through my head, Axel… This isn't something that meds can just solve automatically… Sure, they numb it, but when they begin to wear off during the night and are out of my system in the morning… Even with them I still battle it…"

The younger looked at the old carpet and clenched his hands into fists, the relaxed them. "I'm sorry… Please don't get worse trying to explain it… Just calm down as best you can and try to relax… I'm sorry… Don't get upset…" The elder stayed how he was and then dropped his hands, wiping his damp eyes with the hem of his shirt. "Saїx… Are you going to be okay…?"

"Help me to the futon…" He was tense under the other's hands as he pulled him over to the seat. "Just be close to me now… until I fall asleep…" He opened an arm and the other cautiously slid into his side. Little by little he felt the blunette relax, his eyes closing and his breathing a lot deeper as he calmed down from his mania as best he could. "Thank you…" was the last thing he said and then his weight shifted and the younger found himself lightly pinned to the couch with the sleeping elder lying on his chest. Axel was surprised at first, but then welcomed the feeling. He even dared to lightly run his fingers through the other's pale blue hair, feeling Saїx relax more and more as he went deeper into slumber.

"If you fight your demons in your dreams… I hope you win… If not… Then this must be the best thing ever for you; to sleep and to dream good things…" The younger was a bit saddened by this observation, but happier knowing that if he wasn't struggling he was okay… He was normal, if it was even okay to call it that, if only in his dreams…


	3. Chapter 3

_Well I did a thing… Axel gets hurt in this one and I think I got all the hospital stuff right. Yup._

 _Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Please tell your friends about my content if you liked it, it may help me to find new ideas for prompts if they suggest anything! Also, please review! Anything, and I mean_ _ **anything**_ _, helps me out! And please ask for whatever you want here; I won't judge! Thanks again!_

 _Rated M for HOSPITAL STUFF AND HURT STUFF. I don't own Axel, Sa_ _ї_ _x, or Kingdom Hearts._

 **AkuSai– Disappear – Chapter Three**

Never before had this been so bad… This mania…

Axel narrowly avoided a swing to his left side, ducking and bounding out of the way before it connect with his body like so many other punches. There was no more talking to the elder anymore, trying to talk him out of it all… His nose was bloodied, his right eye swollen, the right side of his chest bruised if not cracked. Maybe the adrenaline was numbing the real pain… The blunette was blocking the door, not allowing him to exit, yelling at him that he knew that he was a demon who only wanted to make him numb and that he didn't want to be numb anymore. He'd flushed his pills down the toilet…

"Go then! If you think I'm a demon than you should just leave!" He didn't know what had forced those condemning words out of his mouth, but in retrospect they were probably brought on by his survival instinct; if Saїx was gone, he wouldn't be hurt anymore. He could call the cops and he'd be put somewhere safe. Not jail… but… "Go!"

In an instant the other man bolted out of the room, leaving the door swinging on his way out. Axel slid his phone out of his back pocket and dialed 911. "My… My boyfriend hasn't been taking his meds… He beat me up… and now he's- No! I'm not filing for abuse! I'll be okay… He needs… He needs his meds and a hospital… He has bipolar disorder… Me? I'm in room 224 in South Hall of campus… He just ran out and I think he's still on campus… Just… Please come here quick…" He let his phone go silent and he just lay on the floor on his left side, trying to breathe as best he could.

In his peripheral he saw two EMTs rush into the room and set him on his back, cutting away his shirt to examine him a little and carrying him out. He glimpsed the red and white and blue lights of the police cars and ambulances, one black-unformed officer running over to him. "I need to get your consent to have this man-" He jerked a thumb in the opposite direction, Saїx drenched from the rain and pinned down to the road by three burly male officers. "-arrested and tried for-"

"No…! It's not his fault… Don't hurt him… What he needs is a hospital and his medications… The best place for him to be right now… Is a psych ward… He didn't mean to hurt me… I got in the way of his mania…" Even those words hurt his chest to say…

"… Alright…" The officer ran over to the others and they picked him up off the asphalt, handcuffed him, and got him into the police car rather than another ambulance. Axel felt only little bits of pain and pressure as IVs were stuck into him, other EMTs telling him to stay awake… To stay with them… Saїx… He needed to make sure he was alright too…

The next thing the redhead knew, he was staring upwards a bright white light was shining in his eye. His throat was raw, and he couldn't feel most of his right side. He couldn't open his right eye… A doctor was standing over him, smiling faintly, clicking off the flashlight he was using. "Good morning, Axel… How are you feeling…?"

"… Where is Saїx…?" A bolt of panic hit him and he tried to stand up, only for the male nurse on his other side to press against his shoulders lightly to keep him down. He needed to know if he was safe, medicated. He needed to know where he was. He needed to know if he was hurt. "I need to know if he's-!"

"Your friend is in the psych ward, under heavy medication to control his mania. He's in no state to try to reason with or even move at this point. We aren't sure if we can even allow you to see him, since he was in such a manic state that he broke two of your ribs and caused an orbital fracture around your eye… The police aren't sure they want to even release him into your custody or out of the hospital after what he did. They want him to be placed in a psychiatric hospital for a minimum of thirty days…" Axel grit his teeth and his hands clenched into fists. "Sorry, but we can't allow you to see him for a long time if at all. In addition, you shouldn't move around too much or you might disturb the ribs we repaired…"

"I want to see him now, even if he's not allowed to see me…" The doctor sighed and looked at the door. A uniformed security officer was standing there. "Please, sir…" The doctor looked to him again and waved the guard over, the officer bringing down the folded wheelchair off the wall and opening it. The bed was lowered and the nurse stabilized his right side as the back was brought up, the redhead wincing a little as he was moved upright. The doctor and nurse combined settled him into the chair, bringing his IV stand to clip to the right side of the chair. "Thank you…" he said.

"Only five minutes, though. You can tell the officer outside his door that I allowed you to. I… I understand why you feel the need to see him…" He smiled a bit and nodded, then addressed the guard. "See to it that he gets back here quickly. No more than five minutes' time in his room, alright?" The guard nodded and they were on their way out, going down two floors via the elevator and then through a few sets of double doors to the psych ward. The guard gained entry using his card key and then they walked slowly through a wide hallway with doors on either side.

"Door seven… Ah, here we are." It was the only door with an armed police officer outside. The officer looked down at the bandaged redhead and sighed. "The doctor let him come down here. He said this kid is allowed five minutes." The officer murmured something into his radio and the reply came back in a moment, then he opened the door with another key card. "Thanks…"

The room was dark, the only lights in the room coming from the monitors around Saїx' bed. The man had on the usual thin shirt and pants of a patient, but his wrists, ankles, and chest were all secured to the bed using thick beige straps. His eyes were open, and thin silvery tear tracks were on either side of his face. He was connected to three different IVs, one labeled with the chemical name of his medication, a much higher dosage than he was taking now, another something the redhead couldn't place, and the third a mild sedative to calm and relax him.

Axel was wheeled to the side of his bed, and he very slowly turned his head to the side to look at him. "Hey Saїx…" The man looked numb to just about everything, but the obvious pain in his eyes was nothing short of harrowing. "I'm okay… I'm fine, I promise… You'll be okay now… It's just going to take some time for both of us to recover…"

His voice was raspy, coming out very quiet and slowly, as he spoke. "Axel… I'm… I'm not… okay… Just leave… Leave me here…" The fingers of his left hand, the hand that was on the side that the redhead was on, twitched before he reached for him. "How are you okay…? I… I did horrible things to you… How can you stand to be around me… knowing… that when I decided to throw away my meds… I turn into an abuser…"

"That wasn't you, Saїx… I know you, and that wasn't you…" He was watched carefully by the guard as he lifted his left hand and took the other's in his own. "We'll be okay…" Now that his eyes had adjusted, he glimpsed bruises on the side of his face and down his neck, the spotting pattern from where he was slammed to the ground… He was almost moved to tears… "You aren't your condition… You aren't mania, and you aren't depression. You're… You're the guy I love… Nothing's going to change that…"

Saїx' fingers held his hand back and he nodded slightly. "I remember them telling me that… That I was going to be put in a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation to be sure… that my condition did this and not the actual me…" Axel nodded and the blunette looked apathetic. "I remember you telling them that I needed to be here and not in jail… That it… It wasn't my fault that I hurt you… That I would never hurt you… Thank you for that…"

The redhead looked at his guard. "How much time left?" He looked at his watch and held up one finger. "Thanks…" He turned back to the elder man. "It's not my decision that you're to be put in a place like that… I'll be sure to call you and maybe visit if I can-"

"Time's up, kid." The police officer strode in and the redhead jumped at the loud sound of his boots. "C'mon." Saїx looked at the younger with a slight nod and the green-eyed man smiled faintly until he was out of sight. The door closed with a soft thud.

"When is he scheduled to be moved to the other facility?" Axel asked immediately. "In a day? A week?"

"I think it was two days. They want him here for evaluation for three day and then they'll move him to the hospital on the other side of town. You're allowed to visit him after two weeks there for a longer period of time. I think I heard that you'd be able to call him before lights out, which is around eight at night. They just want to make sure he's stable enough to be able to handle visitors." The officer looked at the ground and sighed. "I'm sorry this happened to you, kid. He seems like a good guy normally…"

"He _is_ a good guy normally…" The officer nodded and then the guard wheeled him back to his room. He'd be mostly healed by then, maybe a little pained in the chest, his bruising gone, and his eye would be fine. Sixteen days would feel like an eternity until then… He knew he would probably be kept here for a day or more for observation, and then be able to go back to his empty dorm…

Sixteen days…


	4. Chapter 4

_Happier times~ Enjoy!_

 _Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Please tell your friends about my content if you liked it, it may help me to find new ideas for prompts if they suggest anything! Also, please review! Anything, and I mean_ _ **anything**_ _, helps me out! And please ask for whatever you want here; I won't judge! Thanks again!_

 _Rated M for KISSES AND CUTE SHIT AND MEDS! I don't own Axel, Sa_ _ї_ _x, Xigbar, or Kingdom Hearts~!_

 **AkuSai – Disappear – Chapter Four**

Axel tipped the cab driver extra than he normally would for driving him all the way out here. He stood before the massive, white complex with a bit of apprehension. Seeing Saїx now… Would he be alright? He touched his ribs, still bound tightly and his eye had a thin white patch over it since he was still very light-sensitive. He could see, but the bright light hurt his eye. He carried cookies he'd gotten help with baking along, and having read their website's strict food policy he brought the recipe he'd used.

He walked in and the smell of chemical cleaners and soap hit him like a wave. It smelled overly sanitary… As if they were masking something… He walked to the front desk and asked for the room number. The perky secretary that had clearly drank too much coffee pointed him to the stairs. "Third floor, male ward. Ask for room number 367. They'll check your food in there. Is there anything else I can help you with?" He shook his head and thanked her, walking up the concrete stairs through the door and into the male ward.

He'd called every night, but most nights he was informed that Saїx was either too tired or already asleep. When he was available, the conversations were brief, mostly talking about how school was going for the younger man. It was great to hear his voice, but it would've been a lot better to hear his stuff…

The redhead was greeted immediately by the sight of a white-dressed patient wheeled along the left side of the hallway, looking like he was just woken up. The sight somehow unnerved him, but he moved on to the help desk. "I'm looking for room 367, and I brought food that I need to have checked."

The receptionist smiled and took the Tupperware container of cookies and handed them and the recipe to another nurse. "I'll need to sign you in and print a visitor badge. What is your name, sir?" She turned to her computer and was poised to type. He gave her his information, including his relationship to the patient, to which she smiled a bit bigger than she already was. When he questioned this, she merely laughed a little. "Sorry. I'm just an ally and I like knowing that you're here to support him." He automatically liked her after this and smiled back, sticking the visitor badge on his chest. "I'll show you to the room. Oh, and your food is alright." She handed him back the Tupperware.

Her shoes clicked on the linoleum flooring as she passed two hallways of dormitory-like doors. She turned into the third one and gestured to the second door on the right. "This is him. You can stay as long as you'd like. Just check out with me or Maren when you're done." The door was cracked open a bit, the white fluorescent lights flicked on inside.

She clipped away and he pushed open the door a little. The room was set up like their dorm rooms, with a dresser, wardrobe, twin bed, desk, bookshelf that was crammed with books, and an included bathroom. The only things that signified that this was in a medical facility was the empty IV stand in the closet as well as a small cabinet that was locker, medical supplies in it. He put the Tupperware of cookies on the desk before anything else. An armchair was in the corner next to the small window, and sitting there in a pale gray sweater and jeans was Saїx, reading a small, dog-eared book. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail, his eyes cool and collected… He looked okay… Stable…

He looked up and inhaled sharply, as if he was surprised, before smiling. "Hey…" He put his book down and stood, walking over and stopping about a yard away. "May I…?" He reached for his hand and Axel just couldn't help it, hugging him tightly, not matter the pain in his ribs. He felt the other gasp and his arms wrap around him snugly. "I missed you too then…" The surprise and emotion in his voice was nothing short of a miracle for the redhead. After a short while, the younger man let go and dragged his desk chair over to the armchair, patting the arm of the chair.

"Tell me everything that's happened…" He was excited to see him, yes, but he wanted to know about this place too. As the elder sat down again, his sleeve shifted and revealed a white medical bracelet. "I want to know what's all been going on these past two weeks."

He sighed and began. "It was bad the first two or so days still at the hospital… I was always strapped down and it was horrible not to be able to even itch my nose or whatever… I had to ask permission to do just about anything. I was transported here in an ambulance, finally unstrapped, and then given spare clothes that the facility has rooms full of for new patients and shown to my room.

"They gave me stronger medications than my normal dosage, but nothing that really affected me negatively. They also gave me a mood stabilizer, to help with the depression that had sort of kicked in once the counselor I'd talked to noticed I wasn't doing any better with the other meds alone. These pills are helping me a lot more. Once I'm out they said that they'll put it through to my normal pharmacy to give me them too.

"But living here is like heaven compared to the hospital. You're basically free to do whatever you wish apart from counseling sessions and mealtimes and lights-out. I've mostly been in the library, -which is amazing, I might add- and in my room. I don't socialize much with the other patients, but I told them that I'm normally like that and that if they suspected anything else they could call you and you'd vouch for me."

Axel smiled and laughed a little, the elder reaching for his hand again and holding it. "I'm being taken care of here, and I like it a lot better than the hospital. I feel a lot better than I was before… How are you?"

"I've been better, but I heal really fast. My eye is okay, just light sensitive, and my ribs are a bit painful but nothing Advil can't fix. I've been doing okay in school, and I talked to the profs about your coursework and they said they'd be fine with holding it for you and giving you extended dates to finish things when you get back."

"Your ribs?" Oh… right… He didn't know. Axel looked behind him to check if the door was shut and then lifted his shirt a little, showing off the white bandages. Saїx seemed to grow introspective, and then shook his head as if he was snapping out of it. "Sorry… I remembered that I'm supposed to talk about things rather than let them be inside… May I?"

"Gently…" The redhead scooted over in his chair and flinched just a bit as the blunette touched his side, his palm warm and comforting in a way. He couldn't help but gasp softly, the elder automatically removing his hand. "They had to reconstruct two ribs but it's just the one that's really painful now. There were others that were just bruised…" The emerald-eyed man caught the look of panic and fear in the other's eyes and touched his cheek with his left hand, the one that wasn't holding up his shirt. "Hey… I'm fine…"

"I know…" His voice trailed off and he leaned into his hand. "It's just difficult to come to terms with is all…" He inhaled softly and deeply, as if he was mediating. "I don't like to think about it much, but I've been able to be okay with it when talking to my counselor…" He lifted his hand gently to the other's shoulder and the other to his cheek. "Axel…" His thumb gently brushed his lower lip, the redhead's lips parting just a little as he leaned in. "May I…?"

He nodded and the elder met his lips gently, not moving much for a moment but gradually strengthening the kiss. Axel felt the hand on his shoulder gently move down his back, bringing him in a bit closer. Saїx broke the kiss before the other was willing to, the younger letting out an impatient huff and the blunette just smiling. "I missed that…"

"Just that?" He was amused and the redhead wasn't expecting it to be this quick… "Or this too?" He lightly ghosted his lips along his jawline and neck, the younger gasping a little and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "See…?" The topaz-eyed man stopped and kissed his mouth once more before leaning away, a look of bemusement and contentment on his face. He sighed before speaking again. "You won't believe how touch-starved a place like this will make you… C'mere…"

"Are we really going to-? Whoa!" Axel went a bit pink as he quickly found himself in the other's lap, head nestled into his shoulder and one of the elder's arms tight around his shoulders. He felt the other man relax and his lips turned up a smile. "Snuggling is your top priority right now…?" He nodded and kissed his forehead, the redhead relaxing now and enjoying himself. "Mm…"

He didn't know how much time had passed, but he was content to stay like this all day, curled up in the other's arms and close and warm and comforted… "Thanks for taking the time to come up here…" He nodded and smiled. "I mean it… I've missed you a lot…" He nodded again. "Who helped with the cookies?" Axel laughed a bit.

"Xigbar has a hidden talent like you wouldn't believe…" Saїx looked at him with an odd gaze before bursting out into shaking laughter, which just rose the redhead's spirits more and more. "He could easily win one of those cooking shows where in the end you get a cooking show."

The conversation turned to the mundane things about school and classes and homework and dorm life and his parents and stuff. But it was all worth it to be able to hear his voice in person, even better was that a few of the sentences broken by the occasional kiss.

In time, there was a knock on the door, Axel barely having time to jump off the other man and into his chair before a nurse opened the door with a tray of medications. "I'm sorry, but could you step outside, sir? Some patients don't like their loved ones-"

"It's fine," Saїx said, lifting a hand and gesturing for the pills. "He knows. He was the one who was babying me to take them every morning." The nurse looked a bit dumbfounded but then handed him the bottles. He popped two from one bottle and then one big one from the other into his mouth, washing them down with a tiny cup of water the nurse handed him next. "Thanks." She bustled out of the room and the redhead looked at his phone.

"I've been here for almost four hours…" He was a bit surprised, but not too much. "And it's almost noon so I think I should go and get food for myself…"

"Actually, I have to go to an appointment with the counselor for an hour and a half and then with the doctors and stuff, so I think it's better for you to just go home." The redhead looked worried, but then the elder met his lips. "You'd be alone here most of the time and bored. Trust me, it can get boring here unless you get social or read." Axel shrugged and the blunette nodded. "I'll be fine, promise... I'm halfway done here, so when I get back…" His voice dipped a bit low and husky, almost playful… "I'll be in a much better place to have fun with you…" He kissed him again and then laughed softly. "Even though both of us know that's not just want you want and all."

"Yup…" He sighed and smiled. "See you in two weeks then…?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world…"


	5. Chapter 5

_Hisuiryuu, this one is for you~! This is also the last chapter, but i will be writing more for Kingdom Hearts. I want to write more on the AkuSai and Roxas x Xion routes now. They seem like more realistic pairings, but i am NOT opposed to AkuRoku. I just wanna write more realistic stuff i guess._

 _Thanks for reading, reviewing, faving, and following! Please tell your friends about my content if you liked it, it may help me to find new ideas for prompts if they suggest anything! Also, please review! Anything, and I mean_ _ **anything**_ _, helps me out! And please ask for whatever you want here; I won't judge! Thanks again!_

 _Rated M for SUPER AWESOME SMUT TIME! I don't own Axel, Sa_ _ї_ _x, Xigbar, Roxas, Demyx, or Kingdom Hearts!_

 **AkuSai – Disappear – Chapter Five**

"Get in here..." The elder was almost hesitant for some odd reason to enter the room, even though their dorm had been meticulously cleaned up by Axel that past week between classes. They'd refused a 'welcome back' party, Saїx not wanting to be overwhelmed by people nor Axel wanting to have to keep an eye on him. "C'mon…" Axel nearabout pulled him into the room and closed the door.

The blunette looked around, like he was seeing all the stuff for the first time. Then he smiled, nodded, and tossed the bag the hospital had given him for clothes and stuff up into his bed before he plopped down on the couch and relaxed. "I missed this…"

"I'm sure you did… I missed you _being_ here…" The emerald-eyed man was almost giddy with happiness, unable to wipe the grin off his face. "Xigbar wouldn't stop asking about you and Roxas and Demyx were asking for updates whenever we gamed together." Saїx nodded and sighed softly, his eyes closing. "You okay? Tired?"

"Fine… Fine… Just happy to be back…" His lips pulled into a smile and he turned his head to look at the other man, then moving to wrap his arms about his waist and pull him into his lap like he had at the hospital. He rested his head against the younger man's and Axel's eyes closed as he felt his breath ghost down his neck a little, gripping his shirt a bit. He hadn't understood how badly he'd wanted him here like this until now… "Axel…" His voice had grown softer, gentler, if not a bit husky.

"Hmm…?" He lifted his head a bit and looked at him. Saїx' eyes were a deep liquid topaz, half-lidded. He had a pretty good idea as to what he wanted… but he wasn't sure just yet… He'd just gotten out… There was no need to overwhelm him yet… Yet his eyes were pleading, needy… "Alright…"

He leaned up and met his lips softly, moving slowly. Saїx' mouth was almost foreign to him, taking his time to reeducate himself on what the blunette liked. He felt the other's hands glide up his back and then back down to slip underneath his shirt, leaning into his palms and smiling against his mouth. The elder was mostly calm beneath him, the part of him that wasn't calm merely aroused.

"Off…" the blunette growled with a smile, tugging at the younger's shirt a bit. Axel was a bit startled at how he'd said the command, but nodded, slipping away the thin, long-sleeved shirt. He gasped a bit shakily as he felt the other's warms hands immediately begin to explore him, Saїx rising to kiss his neck now. He turned his head to the side to expose more of his skin and wrapped his arms about the elder's neck as he straddled him, allowing him even more room to play about. He wove his fingers into the blunette's hair, not pulling or anything, just pressing his head very gently into his neck for more.

Axel heard a soft grunt from the other man as he pulled away, a slight pained expression on his face. "What's wrong…?" Saїx looked up at him and then down at his bared chest, an almost careful expression on his face as he lifted his hands to his upper chest, to his nipples… The redhead tilted his head back slowly as he was hit with pleasure from just the workings of his fingers. "Ah… Mm…" He smiled and allowed the slow drip of this feeling suffuse him, much preferring the paralyzing pleasurable feeling spread throughout him like a drug… It was so much better this way, not heated, fast, hard… This was more warm, slow, sensual…

"This is… really great…" Saїx murmured, a soft chuckle in his voice as he moved to his neck again. Great seemed like the proper word… Not bad, not just good… Not too much either… The green-eyed man shivered a bit as he felt the other's mouth on his chest now, kissing at his nipple before biting down gently, eliciting a loud moan from the younger. The blunette only chuckled, stifled against his skin. "I forgot about that… Sorry…"

"No… It's fine…" More like amazing… He arched his back a little into his mouth, a soft whimper escaping his lips. "Keep going…" A hand dropped to the elder's thigh, Axel supporting himself a bit and a breathy gasp rising from the other man before his mouth worked harder, harsher at his chest. He wouldn't be surprised if he had hickeys or bruises from his mouth and teeth… Pain was on his side and oh… it was treating him well… He shivered and jolted, all manner of sounds flying out from between his parted lips, some of which he wasn't even sure his vocal range would've been capable of.

He ground softly into the elder, surprised at how hard both of them were… Then he remembered that hearing him moan and just vocalize was one of the things that really turned Saїx on… He did it again, eliciting a soft groan from the blunette, his eyes closing and his teeth clenching just a little before relaxing. "What? Don't you…?"

"I do, trust me…" he said, soft but strained, holding back what the younger man took to be moans. His eyes opened, the darkest tone of yellow the other had ever witnessed. "Can't you tell that I crave this…? I'm just trying to keep myself in the right mind… so I don't hurt you…" Axel's blood went a bit cold and he relaxed. "No… I'm alright… I just need this to be slower… I could tell that the slower, sensual stuff was easier, more pleasurable for you too so…" The redhead smiled softly, nodded, and met his lips, toying with his hair and putting just a bit more of his weight on the other's tight, his thumb almost at his crotch. It took a few seconds for the elder to break away before he moved back to his chest, one hand playing with the nipple that wasn't pleasured with his mouth, the other circling around to his lower back, supporting him there too.

Axel's jeans grew more and more uncomfortable by the second, letting his mouth drift to the other's ear and let the moans, gasps, pants, and soft pleads for more infect him, feeling his hands grow a little more possessive, his nails ever so slightly dig into his back. "You good…?" he murmured, feeling him bite more than anything else now. Sure, it wasn't really registering as pain to him, but it was a change that was a bit concerning… "Saїx…?"

The hand on his back went lower, hooking into the belt loop at the back of his jeans. "Off…" It took a moment to register what he wanted and then he nodded, getting off him for a moment and making a tiny bit of a show taking off his jeans. Saїx' eyes raked down his almost naked form, save for his printed boxers.

"These too…?" Axel hooked a finger into the elastic waistband and the elder nodded. He once again made a show with it, seeing the hungry look in those topaz eyes… The redhead returned to his lap almost eagerly, running his hands around the other's shoulder and down his back before circling back around at his hips and lightly resting his fingertips on his belt. He could almost feel the throb of his need down there just at the metal piece and smiled, leveling his lips at his ear. "Here too…?"

Saїx nodded, silent but looking darkly at him, as if he expected nothing less. He undid the buckle slowly, somewhat teasing the other man, and felt him buck ever so slightly against his hands. "If you'll touch me…" the blunette purred, dropping a hand to heavily rest on Axel's hip, the redhead inhaling sharply, looking back at him in desire. "I'll be sure to return the favor…" The younger man nodded and lowered his own hand before the elder did, meeting his lips softly, not hard enough to muffle any of the moans that came out.

"Let everything disappear…" Axel murmured, punctuating the phrase with a soft kiss to the topaz-eyed man's ear. "Just you and me…"

"You and I, actually…" There he was; Mr. Grammar Nazi was back at it with his dumbass little corrections in the weirdest of situations… Then his breathing quickened just a bit more, the redhead leaning in and feeling the other's heartbeat pound against his own. The blunette then chuckled a little. "You're close, right…?"

"Painfully…" he breathed, hopelessly drowning in everything he was feeling, even more so as the other man pulled him off his lap and face-down on the couch, his fingers curling into the flimsy material the futon was made of as he felt a tight pain at his entrance. He wouldn't be that mean… would he…? "Saїx…?" he quietly called out, his voice dampened by a twinge of fear.

"Relax… It's just my hand…" It had been so long… The green-eyed man felt himself twitch as the elder worked, his other hand always staying at his member. However, he was moving both extremely slowly, as if he feared hurting him or making him go off the edge so soon. This made the redhead look back a little with a bit of a glare… "Sorry..." His fingertips brushed the place and Axel's back arched just a little, a deep, low moan rising from his mouth. "There it is…" In the small space of time the younger man knew he had left, he deduced that he reasoning for him going so slowly was to relearn where the places were, the thought causing his face to go deep red. "May I…?"

He nodded and then both hands nearly tore the couch fabric apart with the force that the elder thrust in. The younger man felt a gentle hand reach around for his chest, his collarbones, his nipples, while Saїx' lips went for his neck. His soft exclamations were mirrored in the older man's as he moved again, the heavy but slow way this was going just perfect… So much better… Once the initial pain subsided, pleasure took over quickly, the redhead finding the will to push against him, making everything even more heavy…

"Saїx…" He didn't even need to make it loud, that singular word telling the elder all he needed to know. White spilled over onto the dark fabric of the couch and the younger shivered and twitched, gasped and moaned, ending it all breathlessly. He felt the blunette finish about a minute later as he was still recovering, that physical curling liquid heat transforming into heat spreading all throughout him. He smiled faintly, tired and eagerly accepting the other's embrace as soon as he had pulled out.

"Thank you…" This was unexpected of the elder, not being one to really do that sort of thing. Axel merely smiled and let his hands entangle themselves in his hair once more, feeling the other's arms twine about his torso, his fingertips playing about his back in comforting old ways, his lips touching here and there about his shoulder. "I mean it… For all of this…" The redhead nodded, understanding in an instant what he really meant behind those words. "Axel?"

"Yeah?" Saїx lifted his head to look him in the eye, his eyes liquid and tranquil.

"I love you…" He couldn't help but feel warmth fill him at those words, a soft pink blush spreading across his face.

"I love you too…"


End file.
